Ten Big Mistakes Men Make with Quality Women

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Ten Big Mistakes Men Make with Quality Women

Here are the ten biggest mistakes men make with the real quality women- women who are not only attractive, but also faithful and intelligent:

1. TRYING TO KEEP HER INSECURE

Much of the ‘pick up artist’ dating advice out there for men on the internet is all about how to make a woman feel less about herself. Those strategies believe that if she feels insecure, that you will then seem of more value than she feels, so supposedly she will now want you and be attracted.

Well, the reality is that this not only usually fails to work even on the mean-spirited women, but it is totally insane to use this type of tactic on a quality woman who did nothing bad to you to begin with. It’s counter productive because she will usually catch on immediately. Then, she will wreak vengeance and havoc with your emotions to teach you a lesson.  At best (if a true quality person), she will just immediately shut you down and leave.

Even worse, what happens is that you destroy your “inner game” this way, because you are in effect telling yourself that you don’t have the worth to keep her on your own, and that you have to resort to putting her down.

This actually makes you feel less than you did before you ever used any tactic like that, and the reality is that your inner game always shows through, and she can detect how you feel about your own worth.  She can detect it through your body language that you display without even thinking about it.  It’s a result of how you are feeling internally, and guess what? How you feel internally always ends up showing in your mannerisms, in your expressions, and in your vocal tonality.

I have a much better solution to all this- instead of putting her down, you should instead bring both of you up!

2. THE MUTUAL COMPLIMENT

Most men never use this, and that’s a huge mistake.  The mutual compliment is pure gold. The mutual compliment means that your message is saying something cool and genuine about both of you-the woman and yourself.

For example, let’s say you are chatting with a woman you just met, and you tell her that you can see she has great taste in men.  This is saying something positive to her, but it’s also pretty damn confident of yourself to say this as well, and it’s funny too. So you’ve done 3 things at once, all in a span of just a few seconds and few words.

This is similar to, before kissing a woman, telling her that  you can tell a lot about a woman from the way she kisses.  When she asks “What do you mean?” you say, “Well, for example, you can tell if she is really passionately into you, or if it’s just about the money.”  Then, you proceed to kiss her, and when you pull away, you give her a mischievous grin and say “Definitely, you’re not about the money.”

So again, you’ve said something cool about her, and about yourself.

3. DON’T ACCEPT A SHRED OF DISRESPECT

This is a big one too.  As soon as you play even a bit of the “head games” with a woman, or as soon as you accept even a bit of this, it’s the beginning of the end of the whole connection. The single greatest factor behind all these head games is insecurity. Giving into it, whether you decide to give her a taste of her own medicine, or you accept it from her, it all just feeds more of this insecurity. There is no way to win with someone who plays these games, the only way to win is to get the heck out.

In my relationships, I never play any games. There’s nothing like the trust that is built upon this foundation. And any woman who doesn’t appreciate this is going to be a serious problem that you are best off avoiding to begin with. I learned these lessons the hard way, I used to try all the “pick up artist” tactics and it wreaked havoc with my relationships, it ruined everything.

And of course, the flip side to all this, is that the lack of games is instantly appreciated by the right kinds of women, because they know how rare this is. And it’s understood by these women as a sign of your strength, because all games are a sign of insecurity, and the lack of games is a sign of massive strength and conviction in yourself.

4. KEEP INITIAL COMMENTS ONLINE BRIEF BUT PERSONAL

I personally prefer to approach women in the real world from regular life, be it women you see at the bookstore, coffee shop, supermarket, or anywhere else, because this opens up the entire universe of women to you, but if you are doing online dating, then make sure to keep your initial email brief but personal.

Think about it from her perspective: If she’s an attractive woman, she probably gets too many emails from guys, including a lot of desperate guys. She does want to meet the right guy, but the first signal that goes off in her head from a huge long email from some random guy is that this guy is somehow desperate and can’t meet women in real life, so he’s putting all his eggs in one basket.

The other problem is when the email he sends is not personalized at all. It doesn’t indicate anything unique about his personality and it doesn’t indicate he actually read her profil at all either.  By the way, don’t spend too much time reading her profile unless it really stands out herself, chances are she said things like she enjoys travelling, and other things that every single girl on the planet says, that don’t indicate anything really important about her individuality.

And when I say to indicate your personality, that means to create the feeling of what you are, don’t just say you’re a funny guy, if you are, then just make a damn good joke.  If you are a very creative guy, then make your email creative, don’t just send a generic email.  From your subject line to the description of yourself, to all the rest of the profile, defy the standard conventions of online dating while still getting the point across:

For example, you can write something as a joke, i.e. writing that you were just released from jail and not interested in re-hooking up with your ex-wives and your 30 grand-kids, then say “just kidding”, and then write about who you really are, etc.

5. TAKE ACTION RIGHT AWAY

This is another thing that seems to defy normal logic. I’m not saying you have to sleep with women right away (in fact, I advise AGAINST it) but rather the key is not to think, “Hmmm, I know this girl, I’ll chat to her for a few weeks, then ask for her number, then, wait a week, then call her, then maybe talk some more for a few months, then maybe get to bed, then maybe a relationship”, etc, etc.

Reality doesn’t work like that. It’s based on momentum.

So if you like a woman, go for it now, get her number, go out for coffee this week, and if you like her and you share things in common on a deep level, then go to the next level.

If you meet a woman at a party, don’t think ”I chatted to her for a few minutes, so let’s not ruin this, I’ll come back later for her and then I’ll ask for her number”. If you like her and she likes you, then get her number now. If you’re on a date with her, and the vibe is great, then don’t wait till later to kiss her, you can kiss her now. Keep in mind, all this is coming not from a needy sense, but from a sense of confidence.

If you are truly delaying something because you know it will be better if you wait, that’s one thing, but 99% of the time, I see guys hesitating out of lack of belief, rather than out of a true sense of making greater impact by perfect timing.

A quality woman wants a man who takes action.

6. THINGS ARE NOT BLACK AND WHITE

To make things easier on ourselves, and to spare ourselves from having to feel like we need to take action, we lie to ourselves by painting things as black and white. Black and white thinking is often a sign of insecurity. For example: “That party is stupid. House parties are stupid. I’m not going to that party, you can’t meet anyone there.”

This is also similar to how the pick up artists and dating gurus like to paint all women as being the same- i.e. that they will all cheat on you unless you use their “tactics” that will enable you to “control” the woman, etc. Those kinds of beliefs and statements, that affect everyone and are based on generalizations, will prevent you from meeting and attracting the women you want in the real world. I say the real world, because most of the tactics printed out there on the internet work only in the fictitious reality they have created, where girls who are Playboy Playmates are just begging to fall in love with any guy who uses the “dating games” on them.

So let’s get back to the real world, where real women hang out: If you go to the bookstore one day and there weren’t a lot of women there, that doesn’t mean you can’t meet women at the bookstore- it might mean that you went to the wrong bookstore in a deserted area of town, or that you went at the wrong time.  Because you absolutely can meet women at the bookstore.  But telling ourselves lies is a great way to rationalize why we aren’t doing anything to actually take action.

Things are also not always black and white in your interactions with a woman – if she said something that hurt your feelings, maybe it’s not exactly like you think.  Maybe it is, but maybe it’s not.  So remember, emotions are dangerous, and when we feel we might be hurt, we take action to prevent that pain.

That’s what emotions do- they prompt us to take action. Think about it- almost every time you actually take any action, it’s emotionally fueled.  Watching TV, feels good.  Feeling hungry? You go eat.  Tired? You want to go sleep. Feeling horny? You want sex.

What happens if you are feeling like you might get rejected? Then you make sure to take the action that will spare you that rejection, and the action that will spare you that rejection is saying things like:

“All women are gold-diggers”

“You can’t meet women anywhere”

“It’s all a waste of time”.

That way, you can make sure to never take any action and be spared any emotional pain.

So beware of how emotions are leading to black and white thinking, (also known as “All Or Nothing” type thinking) because it’s one of the silent destroyers, since we don’t even realize we are brainwashing ourselves and telling lies to ourselves.

A quality woman also knows full well just how much strength it takes to be the kind of man that does not jump into black and white thinking. It’s one of those signs of being a truly strong man in the greatest sense of the words “being a man”.

7. IF YOU’RE ONLINE, COME UP WITH A COOL NAME

The first thing besides your picture they’ll see, and if you have no pic then it’s definitely the first thing they’ll see, is your online name. So you need to stand out in a cool way. One trick is to think of some good music albums that haven’t been overplayed recently in pop culture, and then be a bit creative with that.

So for example: ”NO JACKET REQUIRED”.

You might take that and go serious with that, and follow with a profile that is all about being  yourself and being comfortable with who you are and how you want a woman who is the same, or you might take a comedic route if that is your nature and jokingly write: ”NO CLASS REQUIRED”

And then proceed to have a quick, but funny profile saying what a hillbilly you are, that totally shows you are NOT trying to qualify yourself, which will get a lot of women laughing.

Then, after the playful bit, you might have a few brief but powerful sentences that actually gets down to business with what you like and what you don’t. i.e. You might say that the one thing that is required is honesty. That you learned in hillbilly school that being honest is the one thing that counts, in between sessions of eating mud-pies.

8. IF YOU’RE INSECURE ABOUT SOMETHING, DON’T BRING ATTENTION TO IT, AND DON’T OVERCOMPENSATE.

For example, let’s say you feel you are too “old” for a certain woman. Well don’t try to pretend you’re 18, and don’t lie about your age. Doing those things would only make you feel worse about yourself, because you will feel the need to hide who you are.  And that emotion will ruin your charisma. Rather, be the coolest version of who you are and use it to your advantage and don’t act like you have to hide who you are.

Don’t obsess on it either, so for example, a guy who keeps on saying he is young at heart, etc, sounds similar to a guy who has a non-prestigious job who keeps on saying all the time that that money is not a big deal.

If he wouldn’t have brought it up, the woman might not have even thought about it, but the fact the guy is bringing this topic up shows that it’s clearly on his mind, it’s clearly an insecurity in his mind.  The first form of social proof you want to get, is from yourself. If you don’t think you’re cool, that’s guaranteed to make sure the woman doesn’t think you’re cool either.

9. PLAYFUL CHILDHOOD REGRESSION

Natural primal communication is actually quite child-like.  And the kind of communication that sparks attraction and emotion often stems from allowing her to enter this child-like state. When we are in all adult and formal mode, we block ourselves from actually feeling good. We’re in “Logical” mode. But when you start to chat about fun stuff that links back to childhood, it’s an innocent way to actually get her to be more of an adult in a flirty sense. Devious, huh? But all in a good way, when done responsibly.

You have to understand that you are trying to achieve a lot in a little time with a woman who is a total stranger, and to bypass all the logic barriers that are normally in place. So, for example, asking her who she’d rather marry, Fred Flintstone or Barney Rubble, and to give you the reasons why, or chatting with her in the supermarket about how you two can steal the cereal boxes and get all the toys inside, will get her imagination and mind into a more playful state and instead of looking at you as the next psycho, you are now both playing. And the reality is that great sexual chemistry is very much linked to playing as well, even when it gets aggressive, it’s like aggressive playing.  It’s saying the heck with all the ”serious” stuff of the world and let’s just enjoy and relax what comes naturally.

Of course, I get into all this on a way deeper level in my materials.

In fact, you could playfully say to a woman that if she doesn’t know who Cookie Monster is, or if she doesn’t watch Sesame Street, that she’s too advanced for you. This is a heck of a lot cooler than what most guys do, trying so damn hard to show how “cool” they are and how much money they make, and what societies they belong to, etc.

The great thing about being playful is that it allows you to say things that are true and yet not have to be completely taken seriously.  So it keeps the vibe fun and honest rather than formal and pretentious.

10. A WORD ABOUT ACTING “HARD TO GET”.

The reality is that you shouldn’t “act” at all. Instead of trying to think “Hmm, should I do this “hard to get” behavior now?, you should rather think to yourself why the ”hard to get” behavior became linked to being “hard to get” in the first place. So for example, rather than thinking ”Hmm, should I end this conversation with her first so that she sees I’m not desperate?” just realize where this behavior of ending the conversation first came from for real. It comes from knowing that you truly have tons of choices with women.

Well, then, rather than play games with women, you should actually improve your skills so that you do have more choices. That way, you can actually talk to her for as long as you genuinely have time for, without playing any games, and then you will also attract her rather than playing games that sow the seeds of mistrust.

Think of this as lifting weights- rather than trying to look like you’re lifting weights by getting fake weights that look like they weigh a lot, it’s better to actually train in the gym and become stronger. And if you’re reading this right now and would love to have the power of choice when it comes to getting the woman you want, I suggest you get my Warrior Within grogram, at:

http://getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html

This program is my most advanced program, and is designed for men who are looking to meet and keep a fantastic woman for a great relationship.

All the best,

Michael Marks

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